Friday, April 9, 2010

Areba...thank you

We are here to remember Areba. She left us a heritage, the remembrance of her personality, her friendship, her companionship, her visions, her words.

When Areba joined Sa Jerag, I asked her to write something about herself for the tribe, for her Sisters, for me. I told her I will publish what she writes, and she was happy to do that.

Areba said:

My name is areba, known by many as lyl bitch. Though, I have gathered many other names along the way as well. Some better or worse then others, in any regards I careless what you call me, as long as I am alive to hear myself called.”

That was her greatest wish: to live!

We are sad, so sad. We are so sorry, Sis. You were wild, bragging and lewd when you joined, Sis: No you ve not been an angel, you ve been you!

…we hugged a lot, like we so often do. We danced a lot, like we so often do…we sat and talked about nothing, about everything. And you complained about your comp, about lag, about the silly things we all complain about.

You did not want to talk about your true sorrows and pain, you did not want to let us know, because when you were with us, you were away from all that. Areba. You did not want to be special or different: You wanted to LIVE, just like everyone "I careless what you call me, as long as I am alive to hear myself called"

I hope we gave you shelter, gave you the normalcy that you were looking for, gave you our friendship and our companionship in our hugs and sitting together, in our lil adventures and joys.

One day you purchased ALL our bows from our little shop. All of them. Of course you knew you won t need them all, it was your way to donate to the the tribe without us asking what you are doing. It was your way to say farewell, it was your way to say:”thank you, I leave you now, I won t return, but I thank you.” But you did not want to say that, because you were hoping you would return, despite the odds that you felt in your heart.

Sa Jerag is a Taluna tribe, we all have our reasons. Some of us are lone moms: stay- at- homes for lack of options, some of us live out in the middle of nowhere, some of us are simply lonely, some of us seek adventures that would be too risky or too stupid to have in our rl, some of us explore and suddenly and unexpectedly find love, some of us are ill…we are united in having found something that rl has denied us.

All these things are pettinesses. Unimportant. We could read a book or knit a sweater instead. And suddenly a Sister dies. Her only wish was to stay alive!

Areba did not openly tell. She will have had enough of that, so many times in hospital, so many bad and worse news, relatives, friends, casting their eyes down, not knowing what they should say or do to help. I will not dwell here on the sorrow and fear that must have been heavy as lead on her heart. Instead I quote Areba herself: “Nothing in life appears as I dream it to be. I never shed a tear on that, as it is my life, and crying do nothing for making it right.”

And Areba said:

But never have I been alone. I always have something about, an odd voice, that I hear at times, calling unto me."

And she said: "Recently I managed an escape [...] I met up with an old friend, and decided to join her tribe, as a Taluna. Seeing we share many the same attributes, I felt was a good plan. I look forward to many an adventure, in my new home, amongst my lovely sisters.”

Areba wanted normalcy, she wanted to be one of us, bragging, lewd, silly, adventurous, exploring the options, exploring herself. We all do.

I am proud she was with us. I am proud Areba chose to share her precious time with us. In her way, she let us know: What you do is worth to do, its life, you give me something that I miss; Companionship, just for myself, not for me being different.

In a way, I believe we got to know the true Areba. That Areba that SHE wanted to be, not the Areba that fate poured out for her.

Thank you Sister for having been you. Thank you Sister that you found us good enough to share your time, your friendship, your companionship with.

That is Areba’s heritage, her message for us: Be grateful for your Sister next to you, who chooses to be with you, to share with you. Yes Areba, we take your message to our hearts.

We are in your debt.

And you, dear friends of Areba? Remember HER words:” … crying do nothing for making it right.”

Thank you for being here with me to remember Areba. Thank you for letting me tell about her.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sweet Areba... I only knew you for a short time but yet you managed to touch my heart with your sweetness and kindness... You will be forever missed.
- Nessa