Ancients of Gor

I think there is even a group called ‚Old farts of Gor’. ouch. A group no one really wants to belong to. What a horror. Who wants to be an ‘old fart’

but then you walk into sims, a place where you ve never been.…you cannot avoid the curious quick glance on the minimap, counting the yellow dots. Sims without yellow dots don t exist. There is no place on Gor where you don t know at least a few.

And you know what will happen. You select an innocent tag, you wipe your profile of groups that could be compromising. You grit your teeth, ready yourself for battle, and boldly take a walk on the wild side. Next thing that happens is: “Tal Larah”…uhm…blushes…omg…erm…”Tal my dear friend”…and suddenly you feel caught: You imagine the other thinking: “This one is becoming silly or something? in her old age? she should know better, what does she REALLY want here? This is our sim, our roleplay, what the hell does SHE want here?...can t you leave us alone? we are enjoying!!”

So you offer a hug, you smile, you smalltalk a little. How are you? How is your group? are you enjoying? Any news from other old friends? Yeah, its been a while. noooooo! aww how could I forget you, darling! A bit of chit chat…and in all the politeness you are suddenly aware you don t belong there. So you leave. Ashamed.

And suddenly you feel like a Vampire. A child of the millennia. Larah the ancient one. There are only very very few avas around with a birthdate of 2004…just a few more of 2005…but not many…one knows them…quite a few of 2006…I would not say I know them all. But many. ok THEY are ancient, aren t they?...but not me??...I have a look at what avas of my birthdate do. Ok, they had a few years time to get into the position they were looking for. So you meet the Ubara, you meet the group leader…yeah I know you…and you carry the whole arsenal of stuff around in your profile that practically yells: DO NOT RP WITH ME!

…she is self confident and knows her sl…can t possibly be intimidated
…she is En…she ll be a dominating bitch…soon her tribe will get her out…may lift the traffic, that’s all
…she has her own sim…no chance she would stay for ANY effort we take…she s going to leave soon, no potential for fun there
…she rp s maturely, leaving no room for fantasy…too bad..go home, bitch

All of this is true. All the ‘ancients’ I know are in charge somewhere. They have their ‘homestone’ in the best gorean sense and won t give it up. Gadgets like the restrained life viewer, like all types of visible rp helpers or whatever are mere crutches. They don t work anyways, the way they are intended to. You still need to restrict yourself from circumventing it. Don t script yourself an item, restrain yourself from sneaking out. So you keep on yahoo ing with your friends, go for another coffee and cuddle the cat on your lap while you watch your rp partner struggle and you feel like a scientist when observing a laboratory test rat: “Excuse me please, I m working on a forensic report on clinical pathologic mental aberrations. Please may I ask you a few questions for my lil questionnaire here? Be so kind and reply as truthfully as you can spontaneously. We go through it step by step. Don t be upset please, we ll do it together, ok? Tell me about your mom first, what is the first remembrance you have of her?” I agree, now I m intentionally bad.

So instead you try to be cute and naïve, you para rp if your rp partner is up for that and use the long breaks to chat with friends or play another computer game while you wait, you keep it short and quick if that’s the style and IM with your friends while you hack in another one liner now and then. Boys will ask for vidcam real soon, elderly people won t pew pew much, stupid people have a standard they rp, lazy people will pass the rp on, women are merciless, men are cock driven, kajirae are trying to bore you to death, Spaniards, Italians and south American men are machos, germans are nitpickers, US Americans are boasters, stupid lil office assistants like me rp dutifully, boringly, without fantasy but the ancients usually have so many ongoing stuff on their heels that they have no chance to dive into the rp wholeheartedly anyways.

Time for an alt, you may think. And many do. It costs a lot of linden to build up an ava to be fully functional and a second life to a second life is arising the question who you really are and if sl is worth the effort if you can t even handle a single avatar.

A well sorted inventory with all the pics, notes, items is not only valuable, its your avatar life! You can transfer all the dresses and scripts you made, but it’s still a declaration of bankruptcy of a life. And if you don t remove the REASON for your failure, the second alt will fail again: Don t tell me its all these OTHER awful people that lead you to make an alt: Its you. I know it. It will happen over and over again.

There is however ONE aspect that DEMANDS that you make yourself an alt: If your avatar is not you. If you don t let your sl touch your real life, if it’s a mere game, you lost: You will leave all bored, because the most wonderful aspect of your second life got lost: YOU.

If you don t let second life touch your heart, if you merely play a role, you end up entangled in boring mechanics. But if you managed to make sl an extension of your real life, have friends that you value, explore yourself and live who you are, your sl is rewarding. There is no way around it, be honest with yourself.

How to go on then? The conventional reply is to help. Creating environments, groups that help other people to enjoy their sl. Buy a sim, open a help group, open a shop and count your linden, give all your creations to a freebie market or write a blog to get rid of your frustrations *grins*. Roleplay a Dom and create a lil sub- heaven for newbs, but HAVE A PROJECT!!! Go for something real big, something that will never end, else it’s not a project: A sim is a project. A shop is a project. A school is a project. Learn scripting or learn sculpting. Do what you want, you can do it all: If not you, who else??

Another solution would be to join with a younger one. Get infected with the enthusiasm, with the newness of everything and sigh in joy when you see bright eyes glitter in wonder.

Don t give up, jumping from idea to idea will create frustrations and you ll switch off. Too many did, you old fart!

I’m temped to state here that there were less roleplay, less pew pew on Gor. That’s not true: The truth is, there is less pew pew and less roleplay for YOU. Live with that. Support those that enjoy. Make rules, enforce them, take drama out and prove superiority by being relaxed.

You just advanced from user to creator: Congratulations, old fart! Turn around and patiently explain for the umpteenth time how to create your own lil ao, or better even: Distribute the one you made. THAT is what you can do better than anyone: Advise! And THAT is what you lost: Listen and explore! Where is the curiosity that you had? Where is the awe and the respect you had? Yes, you learnt that second life is about people. You learnt that neither prims, nor textures nor scripts count. Learn respect to people again, listen to the fantasies, make yourself a picture, try to blend in and try to move things.

You scan this blog all bored and think: Nothing new here, Larah? Had it all and you re all wrong here? Welcome to the group of old farts then!

What do I do?

I mostly watch. Seriously. I watch people roleplay and explore, watch people get to know each other, enjoy each other and it makes me smile.

I am in love. Deeply in love. Deeper in love than I ever was. I know it’s a dance on the volcano, THE pillar of my life. I depend on another. I breathe, I live, I laugh, I walk because of her. For her love. I dared. I jumped. I never fell. I m full of gratitude for every day of my new life. No not second life, ALL of my life. At times I FREAK and SCREAM in terror and fear when I think of the risk: Loosing her. It would crush me, leave me sobbing and begging and crying forever.

But she is strong. She is an angel. She keeps me safe. Never was I safer than today. She holds me tight in her love. She stops me when I am about to get lost and guides me back to the right path. I m a princess in a paradise. She created a throne for me. The dream of my life came true. I m grateful. Forever grateful. And she gives me time. Gives me time to think, gives me time when I am about to panic, because I have all a girl can ever wish for in her life: I am beloved. Princess of Gor? Yes, that’s me!!!

Funny: I try to be like her. It’s futile. No one can love like her. No one can care like her. No one can enjoy like her. No one can be shy like her. No one can be brave like her. No one can laugh like her. No one can cry like her. She teaches me love. She teaches me how to love. She defines life for me and became my life. I am aware that I am a lucky one. I am aware I did not deserve to be loved by an angel. I am grateful with every cell of my being. I went to second life to play games. The game got lost, instead I found my life. It’s whole now.

Do I sound stupid, addicted, silly, arrogant? I apologize. I m boasting. I burst in pride, in self righteousness, it proves I have a bad character. I should not publish any of this. My pride is the result of her love. Love is life. Every second of it is heaven.

Larah in love